I think of an abyss
As a deep cavern
Or the depths of the ocean,
A deep
Dark
Cold
Forbidding place.
I feel a foreboding at that thought.
The depths of space strike me the same way.
Emotional abyss is a place
Of despondency
Of loss
Of desolation.
The classical abyss,
The philosophical/spiritual/mystical abyss,
The Abyss as Primeval Source of Existence,
This is different to me.
I have always felt a part of the Oneness
Of the Universe.
Beyond my very modest
Rational thought understanding
Of the quantum multiverse
I feel Oneness encompassing all existence
I feel myself in that Oneness
All-connected
All-related.
I am a white-capped crest of a wave
A miniscule part of the ocean of existence.
The word part is insufficient
For there exists no boundary
No threshold
Between the part that is me
And the parts that I touch;
We are one.
As a wave, I am
Not a piece of water,
But a pulse
Travelling through the water
Rolling across the vast Pacific
Leaving warm tropical waters behind
I move through colder waters
To break on a distant shore.
I become a vibration in the rocks
In the sand
In the air
In the trees
In a human sitting over a tide pool
Reading these words.
I breathe the air.
Is the air I am about to inhale
Me?
Is the air I just exhaled
Me?
Is the air in my lungs
Me?
Is the oxygen entering my bloodstream
Me?
Is the carbon dioxide exiting my bloodstream
Me?
Are the photons of sunlight entering
My skin
My lens, cornea, iris, and retina
Me?
Where and when
Does the packet of pheromones
And essence of lavender
And flavor of pesto
And rot of compost
Entering my nostrils
Become me?
Where do vibrations
My daughter’s voice
The rimshot of a snare drum
The whine of my dog
The purr of my cat
Become
My body
Vibrations?
I feel the radiant heat
Of a bruised muscle
A fraction of an inch
From my hand
As with laying on of hands
I reduce inflammation
Without skin-to-skin
Contact.
I feel the pulse of a meridian
I gently press a fingertip
Into an acupressure point.
I feel the chaotic, sickly energy
Of a migraine
In my hands.
I reposition the neck
Release the pressure
On the vertebrae
Release the tension
In the muscles.
Where does my client end
Where do I begin?
Where are the boundaries
Between my treatment table and my client
Between my client and me
Between us and the rest of the room?
Everything here
Is a room’s worth of nuclei
Kept apart by orbiting electrons
Electrons shared by nuclei
In molecules
Joined in communities
We identify as objects.
I feel oil and sweat
Of my client’s skin
Heat of my client’s muscles
In my hands,
The flow of my energy
Through and around my hands.
I sense the room’s atmosphere
Vibration
Mood,
Tone.
I feel one with
Wind and sound and damp at the ocean’s edge
A roaring football stadium as one team comes together
And another falls apart
A hand on a swooping sculpture’s curve
My mind’s eye
My heart
My body
As I grok a Frankenthaler painting.
As I watch a spider spin her web
A flight of pelicans glide over the beach
A butterfly flutter
A dragonfly whoosh
A deer tiptoe
A coyote trot.
I feel Oneness
With redwood forest
Glacier-carved granite cliff
Waterfall
New-fallen snow.
I feel this
In love
In sex
In grief
In memoriam.
I feel this
In gratitude
In appreciation
In communication
In understanding.
I know this
In my sum totality
Which I ignore
In my separate parts.
For those parts are inseparable
Though they know not.
As students in a class are inseparable
They are the class.
As a family is separate as individuals
Yet interwoven as a family.
As a community is an interdependent whole
Intermeshed in myriad ways
Visible
Apparent
And not.
I see you.
I hear you.
I feel you.
Yet I merely sense
My greater self
That includes us both
And all that we are.
We are one.
We are one in this time and place
This experience
In
Through
And beyond
Time and place
Alive with potential
Alive with history
Here and now.
Only here and now.
And now.
And now.
So full.
Vibrating
Pulsating.
Alive.
